Coronakerst

 

Op kerstavond kwam een auto met piepende banden tot stilstand naast het bezoekerscentrum van het Molsbroek. Adam sprong van achter het stuur en hielp Mina uit de auto. Mina krijste het uit van de pijn, en ergens in het donker krijste een bende meeuwen terug.

Adam gooide zijn schouder tegen de deur, die tot zijn opluchting open ging. Ergens diep vanbinnen kookte hij van woede omdat het ziekenhuis hen had weggestuurd – de materniteit was gesloten en op spoed mochten ze niet binnen. Maar wat zijn gedachten domineerde, was een blinde paniek. Zijn vrouw stond op het punt te bevallen zonder enige hulp!

Adam vleide Mina neer op een zacht stukje vloer en belde de hulpdiensten. Maar er klonk zelfs geen vertrouwd getuut aan de andere kant van de lijn…

‘Oh nee, geen ontvangst!’ riep Adam verschrikt uit.

Door de ramen zag hij opeens een helder licht neerdalen. Iets groots donderde het water voor het bezoekerscentrum in en werd door de vogels op veel misbaar onthaald.

‘Was dat een vallende ster?’ vroeg Adam vertwijfeld. Mina schreeuwde.

Er werd beleefd op de deur geklopt.

‘Godzijdank, hulp!’ riep Adam uit. Tot zijn ontzetting kwam het hoofdje van de baby net op dat moment piepen.

Drie vrouwen kwamen binnen. De ene had handgel bij, de andere een stapeltje mondmaskers en de derde een thermometer.

‘Voor de kleine,’ gebaarde de oudste vrouw. ‘Hoe ga je haar noemen?’ vroeg ze aan Mina. ‘Het moet wel met een C beginnen.’

‘Corona,’ kermde Mina verschrikt.

 

The Last Person on Earth

 

Henry trudged through the forest, looking for mushrooms. He was no survival expert, but it seemed life was set on turning him into one.

He had survived the End of the World, as he called it. And as far as he knew, he was the only one out there, so he could call it whatever he liked. Climate change had hit the earth like a sledgehammer; they had suffered droughts and inundations and then the Gulf Stream had given up on them and the world had turned intensely cold. Those who could afford it had jumped on board of the few rockets headed for Mars, leaving the ordinary folk to fend for themselves. Then the meteor struck  – Henry had seen it approach, live on TV – and then nothing. The sky had grown dark, throwing them into perpetual night. He had been lucky to find shelter with his prepper friend Dennis. Dennis had a bunker chuck full of canned and long-lasting food in his back garden, which by then was worth millions. They should have been able to sing it out for five years without having to go outside.

But then Dennis went outside and was swept away by the massive tsunami that followed the meteor strike.

Henry had been lucky, once again, that the bunker was waterproof. One of the cameras in the garden survived and Dennis watched, while steadily munching his way though Dennis’ stock, how the water ever so slowly receded. When finally the water had drained away, Henry had stepped outside.

The world as he knew it had ceased to exist.

He searched and searched, but couldn’t find any humans. Just debris.

And after a while he started to wonder whether he wanted to find any humans. Nothing grew. The landscape was devastated and empty. Any humans he encountered were bound to be hungry. They would want to know how he had been able to survive for as long as he had. There would be questions asked, fists raised. If he encountered other human beings now, he would have to fight to defend his food.

So Henry picked up the weapons he could find scattered among the debris and returned to his bunker. He just sat there, watching the one working camera, until that one gave up the ghost as well. Then he read the few books Dennis had lying around: four on preparing yourself for an emergency, one mediocre novel and a guide on edible mushrooms.

When his stock started to run low, Henry started studying the mushroom guide. He studied until he knew the book by heart.

And then, one day, he was down to the last ten cans. Henry packed up and left the bunker. There was no point in hanging around anymore. Armed with a rifle and several knives, Henry had set out in the perpetual dusk.

His wanderings had been miserable. He would have been better off in the shelter of the bunker, but after ten years, Henry quietly loathed the thing. So he kept roaming, occasionally bumping into feral dogs (very unpleasant), and once, into a terribly skinny bear (extremely unpleasant). But he never bumped into another human being.

He crouched down and examined a bland-looking set of mushrooms. He had soon found that his mushroom guide had not been all-encompassing. Henry’s hunch was that the lack of sunlight had favoured a few types of cave mushrooms, which had not been covered by the guide. As he had nothing to lose, he tried them anyway. Some gave him terrible cramps, but others went down just fine. The mushrooms he was looking at now were of a kind he hadn’t encountered before. He tore off a small piece – he had grown that wise – and brought it to his mouth.

‘I wouldn’t eat that if I were you,’ a gruff voice said behind him.

Henry froze. The sound of another human voice was so alien that his brain stopped functioning. He just sat there in disbelief.

‘Cat got your tongue?’ the voice came again, sounding amused. There were footsteps to his left and then Henry was looking at a pair of bare feet that were missing several toes. Slowly, his gaze travelled up and met that of a weathered-looking, bearded man. The man nodded politely.

‘I’d shake your hand, but I don’t know whether that’s wise, sir,’ the man said. ‘You look mighty skinny to me, and I wouldn’t want to end up as dinner, if you catch my drift. Sir.’

‘I catch it completely,’ Henry managed to croak. ‘Sir.’

The man smiled, making his tanned face ripple. Henry noticed he was slim but muscled, that he had somehow found himself a not too indecent pair of shorts and t-shirt and was wearing a backpack of a very decent quality. Henry knew he looked positively dishevelled in comparison.

‘Please, call me Lefty. Everyone does – well, did.’

‘Henry,’ Henry said, slowly rising up, so as not to startle this block of muscle and confidence.

‘Pleased to make your acquaintance, Henry,’ Lefty smiled. Henry noticed his gaze shoot to all the weapons Henry was visibly wearing. Henry thought it looked a lot like a coveting gaze.

‘Likewise.’

‘Not very talkative, are you Henry?’ Lefty grinned. ‘Can’t blame you, out here on your own since…’ Lefty waved casually to indicate the flow of the years. ‘Since when, Henry, do you know?’

‘I reckon I’ve been out here for about two years now,’ Henry said. ‘A bit hard to tell in this perpetual twilight.’

‘The light’s a bitch, that’s right, pardon my language, sir,’ Lefty nodded grimly. ‘I’m surprised you survived out here for as long as you have. You been in a shelter before that?’

Henry nodded vaguely. ‘Had some food there, but it’s all gone. Don’t think I could find my way back.’

‘Pity,’ Lefty said, with a gleam to his eye. ‘Would have been good to have a decent base.’

Henry shrugged. ‘I had to start foraging. No point in me staying there.’

‘Aye, a man’s got to eat,’ Lefty agreed. ‘I’m guessing you got no food on you if you were looking at trying those little nasties there,’ he said, pointing at the mushrooms Henry had been about to try.

Henry shook his head. ‘Got nothing on me at all,’ he said earnestly. ‘You?’ he asked in vain hope. He knew the guy would never share his food with him. It was every man for himself now.

‘Finished it all, pall,’ Lefty said easily. Henry thought Lefty looked too successful not to have a little stash stowed away somewhere, but he let it pass. He knew he was no match for this burly guy.

‘You are the first fellow human being I’ve encountered in all these years,’ Lefty continued. ‘You ever met anyone?’

‘No, you’re my first as well,’ Henry replied. In fact, it felt totally surreal to be talking to another person. He had been alone for so long that now he encountered someone else, his head was sent spinning and the adrenaline pumped through his body.

‘Too bad,’ Lefty said. ‘Wouldn’t have minded running into some pretty little thing, wouldn’t you?’ Lefty grinned and Henry muttered something noncommittally. He knew that although this was probably the only other person out there, they would never get along.

‘So what do you say to us sticking together, pal?’ Lefty said magnanimously. ‘Together our chances of survival will improve. I was a survival expert before the shit hit the fan, you know.’

Well, he looks like one, too, Henry thought. And has the ego to match.

‘That’s very kind of you, but I think I’ll continue on my own.’ Henry took a few steps back, unwilling to turn his back on Mr Survival Expert.

‘Where you headed then, pal?’ Lefty said, incredulously raising an eyebrow.

Henry shrugged. ‘I reckon we’re the only two people left in North America. Wouldn’t hurt checking the South.’

Lefty looked at him in suspicious puzzlement. ‘You don’t want to go to South America, pal, that place is full of nasty critters. You’d be dead within a week.’

‘Doesn’t matter when there’s nothing to live for anyway,’ Henry retorted. ‘I could still be in that shelter, but I’m out here, living my life. If I want to go and explore South America, then that’s what I’ll do.’ And with that, he turned and walked away.

‘Hey! Hey, pal!’ Lefty shouted after him. Henry merely raised a hand in greeting and kept walking, picking up the pace. He knew Lefty would follow him until he was satisfied that Henry didn’t have a secret stash squirreled away somewhere. But he liked the thought of putting some distance between them all the same.

What a pity the other Last Person on Earth was a dick.

 

Uitzichtloos

 

De dagen rijgen zich aaneen als een ketting zonder glans, de parels dof en stoffig. Sinds ik hier ben aangekomen, lijk ik in één lange dag te leven waarin nooit iets verandert. Ik heb ondertussen geen idee meer hoe lang ik hier al ben.

Zelfs het raam van mijn steriel kamertje kijkt slechts uit op een egale betonnen muur. Anders kan ik nog de meeuwen observeren die hier krijsend rondzweven, maar vandaag vervaagt de regen hen tot witte schaduwen.

Ik hoor het geluid van de sas naar mijn deur die sissend opengaat. Ik draai me niet om, want ik weet toch al wie eraan komt.

Mijn deur opent. ‘Tijd voor je oefeningen,’ kondigt Maggie veel te vrolijk aan. Ik weet niet waar ze het – hoogstwaarschijnlijk valse – enthousiasme vandaan haalt terwijl ze volledig ingepakt zit als een marsmannetje. Geen stukje huid is onbedekt en ze ademt zelfs haar eigen lucht in, uit een tank op haar rug. Zo gevaarlijk ben ik dus.

‘Twee minuten te laat,’ zeg ik met een blik op de klok.

‘M’n outfit doet zichzelf niet aan, hoor,’ antwoordt ze.

Zelfs onze conversatie is routine geworden. Ik heb geen idee hoe lang we deze zinnetjes al iedere dag tegen elkaar herhalen.

‘Vandaag beginnen we met de ster. Doe maar.’

Ik zucht en begin mijn armen en benen uit elkaar te gooien. Maggie staat tegenover me en doet mee, daar stond ik op. Het valt tegen om fysieke inspanningen te doen in dat ruimtepak van haar, ik wed dat zij er een zwaardere work-out aan heeft dan ik. Maar ik vond dat als ze mij dwongen om aan zinloze sport te doen, ten minste één van hen wel kon meedoen. Om heel eerlijk te zijn, weigerde ik ronduit om mezelf af te peigeren als er niemand meedeed.

Ik weet maar al te goed waarom ze willen dat ik in goede conditie blijf. Volgens hen zou het me zelfs gelukkiger maken. Na jarenlang mezelf door vreugdeloze sportlessen op school gesleept te hebben, durf ik dat te betwijfelen. Maar goed, ze hebben me nodig. De toekomst hangt af van de testen die ze op me uitvoeren. Daarom moeten ze me in zo goed mogelijke conditie houden.

Dus sinds mijn kleine staking is er Maggie. De enige persoon die ik op een hele dag te zien krijg.

Maggie vuurt de ene oefening na de andere op me af. Ondertussen ken ik ze allemaal, maar op zijn minst is de volgorde iedere keer verschillend.

‘En stretchen!’ roept Maggie. Ze gooit haar arm over haar hoofd en buigt haar bovenlichaam mee. Ik doe haar zonder nadenken na. Maar terwijl ik mijn arm strek, grijpt Maggie geschrokken naar haar vizier. Haar ogen staan groot, de paniek is op haar gezicht af te lezen. Haar handen grijpen wanhopig naar de zuurstofbuis in haar nek. Vanuit mijn scheve positie kan ik de buis nutteloos aan de zuurstoftank zien bungelen.

Maggie is aan het stikken, dringt het tot me door. Ze hebben zoveel schrik van mijn ziekte dat ze haar pak zo hermetisch hebben afgesloten dat ze mijn lucht niet eens kán inademen.

In een paar passen staat Maggie aan de deur en ramt ze haar pasje tegen de terminal. Mijn kamerdeur zucht open en onthult de ruimte tussen mijn kamer en de kleedkamer. Maggie lapt het protocol aan haar laars en maakt de volgende deur al open nog voordat de mijne dicht is.

Ik denk dat mijn hart heel even blijft stilstaan. Hier is de kans op ontsnapping waar ik zo lang op heb gewacht. Hier is het dilemma waar ik al zo lang lig over te piekeren in mijn kaal ziekenhuisbed.

Blijf ik netjes achter slot en grendel of grijp ik mijn vrijheid, wetende dat mijn ziekte de andere helft van de mensheid kan uitroeien?

 

 

Blind date

Cady went downstairs to collect the mail. The downstairs neighbour was once again sweeping the corridor. Cady had moved in two weeks ago, but so far she had seen the elderly lady sweep the floor every day. Cady shot her a polite smile that said she really had no time for small talk, thank you, and briskly walked over to the mailboxes. She retrieved her paltry mail and shot back up the stairs before her neighbour, who had already put her broom aside in eager anticipation, could get in more than a ‘How are you?’.

‘Fine, thanks!’ Cady shouted and slammed the door behind her. God, that little lady urgently needed to get herself a hobby. Perhaps Cady could start dropping hints about crochet and line dancing the next time she found herself trapped in conversation with her.

Cady examined her mail. Just her regular phone bill. But what was that?

To her surprise, someone had sent her a postcard. A cat with wings and a halo smiled up at her. Bemused, Cady turned the card over.

Hi there Cady, someone had written in a narrow and tidy hand. I’ve been seeing you around and would like to get to know you. You feel up for a blind date? Friday evening, The Almighty Brew. Yours, Gabriel.

Cady suddenly felt her heart beat faster. Goodness, she hadn’t expected this. He had seen her around, because The Almighty Brew was her favourite spot. Had she seen him? Was it someone who lived in her new apartment block? She’d noticed the guy upstairs looked hot. But wasn’t it creepy that someone had been following her around?

She read the message again. The wording wasn’t imposing. He had even signed with his name, which made him seem reliable. Perhaps The Almighty Brew was a coincidence; it could be his favourite spot, too. In fact, she had told the hipster bar man that she had moved here. Anyone could have overheard their conversation. Thinking about it, the bar man seemed to like her; it might even be him.

Her thoughts spinning, she turned the card over in her hands. To hell with it, she thought. I’ll go. After all, she had nothing to fear. The Almighty was a public place and she was pretty sure she could count on the bar man to intervene if necessary. All she had to do was turn up and keep her wits about her.

She tacked the card to the wall, thinking at least the guy wouldn’t be a bore if he chose to send angelic cats.

Friday evening arrived and Cady wished the mysterious Gabriel had set a time, too. She had arrived home from work and had changed into her best pair of trousers and her ‘Sorry, I can’t, I have plans with my cat’-tee. She figured they would get along if he thought it was even slightly funny. But when to go?

Cady sighed and looked at her smartphone again. 18.30 would be too early, surely? Give it another half an hour, she told herself. It would look cooler if she was late than if she was way too early. Besides, she didn’t know what the guy looked like, so there was little point in her arriving first.

The time passed excruciatingly slowly. She re-arranged her books (she put the ones she wanted to read soon at the front of the queue), she took another look at her e-mail (she’d read them all), she fussed with her hair (no, pigtails wouldn’t do) and generally ran around the apartment doing nothing much at all.

Finally she felt justified to leave. She walked the few streets to The Almighty Brew, enjoying the spring blossoms along the road. Now she was moving she felt much better.

Then she reached The Almighty and her heart started racing again. People were sat on the stools outside the shop, but none of them seemed to take an interest in her. She opened the door and stepped inside. She quickly scanned the room and hoped she simply looked as though she were looking for the best place to sit. She felt awkward, exposed. But then a hand went up and there he was, waving at her from her favourite couch.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. He was smiling already, and as she made her way over to him, she saw he had wavy blonde hair and incredible blue eyes. She was about to look over her shoulder, to make sure he wasn’t waving at someone else, when he called out to her.

‘Cady!’ He stood up and smiled at her radiantly. ‘I’m so glad you came! I’m Gabriel, of course.’ He looked as though he wanted to hug her but didn’t dare to, so he just awkwardly tugged at a lock of his hair. His shyness made Cady want to laugh. Here he was, gorgeous guy, and he was wondering what to do with himself just as much as she was.

‘Thanks for the invitation,’ Cady said as she sat down on the couch. Gabriel plonked down next to her, looking relieved and happy at the same time. Damn it, this guy was cute. ‘Do we order first or can I start the cross-examination already?’

‘Ah, I think I should be fortified for that cross-examination,’ Gabriel smiled. ‘Am I lucky you haven’t got a cat, by the way.’

Cady looked down at her t-shirt. How could he know she didn’t have a cat? ‘You really know way too much about me,’ she said.

‘Way too much indeed,’ Gabriel sighed. He caught her look and made a face. ‘I should watch my mouth. Sorry about that, I don’t want to creep you out. And I’m not a creep, I promise!’

‘We’ll see about that,’ Cady quipped as the barmaid came to take their orders. Gabriel ordered the Stay Grounded, a very strong coffee Cady had on horrible mornings.

‘And for you?’ the waitress asked.

‘A Fallen Angel, please,’ Cady said, ordering a cocktail. Gabriel made a little chocking sound and looked caught out for a moment.

‘You all right?’ Cady asked as the waitress left.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Gabriel said, straightening his shirt. ‘Just the nerves.’

‘Why should you be nervous?’ Cady wondered. This guy could get any girl, she was sure of it.

‘Oh, I don’t know, I’m only breaking about a hundred rules by being here,’ Gabriel said, involuntarily looking up at the ceiling. But then he turned and beamed at her. ‘And then there’s you, of course.’

Cady felt her cheeks grow hot and quickly averted her gaze. ‘What kind of rules are you breaking? You haven’t run away from somewhere, have you? Prison? Asylum?’

‘God, no!’ Gabriel laughed. ‘See, there I go again, shooting off my mouth. But,’ he held up his finger, ‘no cross examination until our drinks have arrived.’

‘I won’t need to cross examine you, at the rate you’re going, you’ll have told me all there is to know by the time our drinks get here,’ Cady joked, even though she felt as curious as a cat.

Gabriel burst out laughing. ‘No doubt! Then I should stay silent and let you do the talking.’ He turned his blue eyes on her. ‘Did you like my card?’

‘Yeah, I did. Angelic cats are the way to go.’

‘Good,’ Gabriel said, looking inordinately pleased with himself. ‘I find these things a challenge. They weren’t around back when… ah see, there I go again. Please, save me from myself and tell me about you.’

‘But you already seem to know everything about me,’ Cady protested.

‘I wouldn’t mind hearing about you again,’ Gabriel said, sending a devastatingly sincere smile her way. Cady felt her cheeks heat up again.

‘Well, I could tell you about my hobbies,’ she hurried to say. ‘I love drawing, especially birds. I can’t get over how intricate their feathers are. And I’m a big reader. I’ve got so many books I could stop going to the library and still be set for some five years. Not that I would, of course.’

‘No, you certainly wouldn’t,’ Gabriel shook his head, an amused smile on his lips. ‘Go on.’

‘I like to swim. Especially early in the morning when there’s hardly anyone around at the swimming pool. It’s such a peaceful moment.’

‘I see the waitress coming our way,’ Gabriel said, ‘so please hurry and tell me a few more things before I have to expose myself.’

‘Okay,’ Cady said, feeling amused. ‘I love to be around my friends. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m the only one who needs friends as much as I do. I would do anything for them. I won’t ever let them go. They’re my friends and that’s what they’ll be for the rest of their lives. I adore cats, but only if they’re someone else’s. I wouldn’t want to clean out cat litters and be sat on at four in the morning. And I love being outside in the sunshine,’ she rushed to say as the waitress reached their table, ‘preferably with greenery within eyesight.’

‘So basically,’ Gabriel said as he accepted his coffee with a polite nod, ‘you love life and everything in it.’

Cady blinked, taken aback. ‘I guess you could say that.’

Gabriel took a sip from his coffee and raised his eyebrows meaningly. Cady couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

‘I’m ready, let’s have it,’ Gabriel said resignedly.

‘Okay. I’ve got so many questions. How can you know so much about me? How do you know this place and how come you’re sat in my favourite seat? How did you know my address? What rules are you breaking?’

Gabriel raised a hand, looking horrified. ‘Easy! I’ll answer them all, I promise. Just give me a moment to think.’ He took another sip and placed his cup on the low table in front of them while Cady watched him expectantly. She was burning with curiosity.

Gabriel was lost in thought for a moment, but then he blew out his cheeks and sighed. ‘Okay,’ he said, turning towards her, ‘here’s the whole story. It will sound absolutely bonkers to you and it’s entirely understandable if you don’t believe me. But please believe me when I say that I cannot lie.’ He looked at her entreatingly.

‘Okay…’ Cady said hesitantly. ‘Go on.’ Please, don’t let him be a mental patient, Cady thought. Things were going so well.

‘Right.’ Gabriel looked resolved, as though mentally readying himself for a war. ‘So. I know everything about you because I was assigned to you. At your birth. Because I’m your guardian angel.’

He stopped talking but looked as though he had much rather kept on babbling, anything but having to let her answer to that implausible statement.

‘Err… right?’ Cady said. This was not the turn she had expected the conversation to take.

Looking relieved that she hadn’t outright laughed at him, Gabriel hurried on. ‘That’s why I’m breaking so many rules. Guardian angels aren’t allowed to make themselves known to people, let alone go on a blind date with their protégés.’ He coloured as he said that. ‘But I see you constantly, all day, every day, and I couldn’t help it. I had to talk to you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone I’ve protected before, though of course there were a few I admired, but no-one… there has never been anyone like you.’ He looked at her imploringly. ‘Please don’t run off, thinking I’m out of my mind. Please.’

Cady raised her eyebrows, saying ‘Well!’ and took a large sip from her cocktail. She didn’t know what to think. This was the most outlandish story ever, and yet he seemed so sincere.

‘I could tell you things,’ Gabriel said, looking carefully hopeful. ‘All the little details that happened in your life. That time you fought with your mom because she wouldn’t let you have a sword like your brother, and you defiantly made one out of cardboard and sticks. That time you were told to watch the chicken in the oven and it came out black and inedible. Or like how when you were four – I’m not sure you’ll remember this – you told your dad the f-word because he’d returned your books to the library without bringing you new ones. Or how your first boyfriend was called Carl but you never told anyone about him, or… I’m getting ahead of myself.’

Cady felt stunned. Everything he mentioned had happened. She even remembered the episode with the f-word because her dad had been so upset about her using a dirty word while she had been beside herself with rage that he’d taken the liberty to do away with her things. And she had never, ever, told anyone about Carl. And she was pretty sure he hadn’t told anyone about her, either. She’d discovered a few things about him he wouldn’t want broadcast.

‘How… what?’ she spluttered helplessly.

Gabriel made a face. ‘I went about this the wrong way, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have fired so much information at you. Should have taken it easy, dropped hints…’ He sighed. ‘But after a few thousand years, I know myself. I can’t keep my mouth shut. So eventually I would have misspoken and by then you’d have felt betrayed. And like I said, I cannot lie. It would have been excruciating to talk my way out of inexplicable things. And I’m talking too much once again. Please, Cady, talk to me. Are you okay? Are we okay?’ He looked at her with agony in his eyes.

‘I… I suppose so,’ Cady said. ‘But it’s so…’

‘Improbable? Unlikely? Hard to believe?’

‘Well… yes.’

‘We were made to be believed in,’ Gabriel smiled mischievously.

Cady couldn’t help but smile. ‘But you got something to help me believe you? I don’t see any wings on you,’ she said, looking over his shoulders.

‘Not here, you wouldn’t,’ Gabriel said, shaking his head. ‘I’m not getting them out in public. What is it?’

Cady had suddenly had a thought. ‘The feathers… I like to draw feathers… because I once found a special one.’

Gabriel coloured. ‘I saw you liked to draw and that you were obsessed with birds. So one day I thought I’d give you a little gift…’

‘… And you left me one of your own feathers,’ Cady said breathlessly. ‘I could never find out which bird it came from, even though it was so distinct…’ She pulled the feather out from under her t-shirt by its leather string. It still looked just as pristine as it had ten years before, when she had found it in her room. It was such a pure white that it hurt her eyes if she looked at it for too long. Gabriel coloured when he saw it.

‘Please, put it away,’ he murmured. ‘I really broke the rules when I left you that one. Please, just, put it back under there, okay?’

‘Why does it make you feel so uncomfortable?’ Cady asked as she tucked the feather back under her t-shirt.

Gabriel looked at the floor. ‘An angel’s wings… How do I describe this? It feels too personal. Like you’re waving a bit of me around for everyone too see. Every angel’s wings are different, you know. And precious. They don’t grow back. If you damage them, you’re lost.’

‘So… an angel can really fall?’ Cady asked, looking at her cocktail.

‘Hell yes,’ Gabriel said, looking stricken.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,’ Cady hurried to say. ‘But doesn’t that mean…’

‘What?’ He looked up at her.

‘When you gave me that feather, you knew it would never grow back.’

Gabriel nodded. ‘Yes. I thought you were special, even back then. You were worth it.’

Cady didn’t know what to think. She felt flattered, for sure. But even though she couldn’t imagine how the feather could be a fake, she still felt a nagging doubt.

‘Do you think you could show me your wings… in a more private place?’

Gabriel blushed all the way to the roots of his blonde hair, made a gargling noise, grabbed his coffee and downed it in one gulp.

‘You say that so casually,’ he squeaked as he set down his cup. He clanged it on the side of the saucer, which upturned it and sent it tinkling to the ground. Gabriel groaned and put his face in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ Cady asked. Apparently she had asked too personal a question.

‘Yeah,’ Gabriel said, and lowered his hands. ‘It’s just… you know, like I said, wings are a delicate… subject,’ he struggled to say.

‘But you could…?’ Cady left the question hanging.

‘Yeah, I could show them to you,’ Gabriel murmured. ‘Perhaps we had better go before I upset more things, cups and waitresses alike.’ The waitress was headed their way, a dustpan and a scowl at the ready.

‘Sorry about that,’ Gabriel said meekly when she reached them. ‘We were about to leave anyway. Here’s your tip.’ He took out a bank note and the waitress’ expression brightened.

Cady took a quick gulp from her cocktail as Gabriel rose and followed him to the door.

‘So, shall I walk you home then, milady?’ Gabriel said when they were outside, offering her his arm.

‘By all means,’ Cady said, taking his arm. ‘How old exactly are you, Gabriel?’ He didn’t look a day over twenty-two, but if his story was legit…

‘Ooh…’ Gabriel sucked in his breath and made a face. ‘Do you really want an answer to that question?’

‘Of course!’ Cady cried. ‘Come on, how bad is it? Did angels already exist when the earth was born?’

‘This is so awkward,’ Gabriel said. ‘We were around by then, yes.’

‘Really? Like, really?’ Cady grabbed his arm in disbelief.

‘Yeah, go check your Bible, it’s in there. We partied when God made the earth.’

That was such a weird imagine in Cady’s mind – angels under strobe lights and getting drunk as God created Earth in the background – that she burst out laughing.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. ‘So you find my age amusing?’

‘Yes! Go on,’ Cady said, ‘if you already existed to see the earth created, then when were you born?’

‘Ah,’ Gabriel said, looking up at the sky. ‘I can’t say exactly. We’re a part of the universe, you see. It’s generally accepted that the universe came into existence some 13.8 billion years ago.’

Cady stopped in her tracks. ‘Whoa – wait, what?’

Gabriel shot her a smile that was sad and amused at the same time.

‘Hang on,’ Cady said as she resumed walking, ‘How can you keep on existing?’

‘What a human thing to say,’ Gabriel smiled, endeared. ‘You’re thinking of growing old and dying. But take the rest of the universe. It’s still out there, isn’t it?’

‘Well… yes,’ Cady had to admit.

‘Then why wouldn’t I be?’ Gabriel grinned broadly as he opened her apartment block’s door for her.

‘But that would make you… I mean…’ Cady spluttered. She shut up as she saw the old lady living downstairs gawk at them.

‘Evening,’ Gabriel nodded at her politely.

‘Well, good evening,’ the woman breathed. She stared at them until they disappeared out of sight up the stairwell.

Cady couldn’t get her head around it. As old as the universe?

‘How do you live like that?’ she asked as she dug out her keys. ‘I mean, do you eventually forget everything that happened a very long time ago?’

‘Some things get a little hazy, but we don’t forget, no,’ Gabriel said, looking amused. ‘We’re angels, you know,’ he said tentatively. ‘Not humans.’

‘Yeah… so what other differences are there between our kinds?’ Cady asked as she let him in.

Gabriel laughed. ‘God, I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do, aren’t I?’

‘Damn right you are!’ Cady smiled. ‘But first, Mister Angel, I’d like to see some proof.’ She folded her arms and leant against the wall.

‘Ah… okay,’ Gabriel said. ‘I’ll have to take this off, though,’ he said, reaching up to the collar of his shirt.

‘Be my guest,’ Cady grinned.

Gabriel smiled, a little shy, though he kept throwing eager glances her way while he undid the buttons on his shirt. He slipped out of it, revealing his muscled body, and threw the shirt aside.

‘Ready?’ he asked huskily. ‘You’d better look a little to the side, it might get too much for you.’

‘Ready when you are,’ Cady said, who wasn’t thinking about looking to the side at all.

There was a rustling sound and then Gabriel was bathed in a bright, golden light as his wings spread out around him. Cady couldn’t believe how beautiful they were, or how insignificant and yet powerful Gabriel looked between them. She put her hands to her mouth and felt tears well up in her eyes. There was something achingly, soulsearchingly beautiful about seeing him like this.

Gabriel looked at her inquisitively and quietly refolded his wings. The light disappeared and he looked like a normal man again, but there was something that kept shuddering inside Cady. She felt it down to her bones.

‘You okay?’ Gabriel asked, his voice a little hoarse.

Cady nodded. ‘That…’ she tried to speak, but her tongue was no longer connected to her brain. ‘That was incredible.’ The word seemed inordinately inadequate for what she had just seen.

‘You took it well,’ Gabriel said, sounding relieved. ‘I’m glad you’re not on your knees, raving your head off.’ He smiled weakly. ‘That happens more often than I would like.’

Cady smiled through her hands. ‘No chance of that.’

‘So…’ Gabriel looked at the floor but then looked up and bit his lip. ‘Any chance of you wanting to date a billenarian?’

Cady burst out laughing. ‘Hell yes!’

A smile crept up Gabriel’s lips and he reached out to her, drawing her towards him. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ she smiled up at him. The blue of his eyes was dazzling and seemed to change and swirl continuously, like a sea agitated by the wind.

‘Awesome,’ Gabriel murmured, and bent down to kiss her.

Tien kleine bijen #Coronalol

Tien kleine bijen zoeken een hotel

Maar vinden ze dat wel?

Door corona zijn de hotels toe

Waar moeten ze nu naartoe?

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Negen kleine bijen willen iets drinken

Maar ze mogen niet meer klinken

Het lockdownfeestje hebben ze gemist

En nu mogen ze ook niet meer naar de florist!

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Acht kleine bijen gaan boodschappen halen

Maar wat is dat balen!

Al het wc-papier is verdwenen

Ze kunnen zelfs niet in tissuetjes wenen

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Zeven kleine bijen houden afstand

Nectar drinken ligt wel niet voor de hand

De bloemen staan zo dicht bij elkaar,

Hoe krijgen ze social distancing voor mekaar?

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Zes kleine bijen moeten nogal hoesten

Maar ze hebben geen oksel om in te proesten!

Zakdoekjes hebben ze ook al niet

Volstaat een voelspriet?

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Vijf kleine bijen willen mondmaskers kopen

Maar dat was te veel om op te hopen

In de apotheek zijn de maskers uitverkocht

Nu hebben de bijtjes schrik bij elke ademtocht

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Vier kleine bijen moeten thuis werken

En hun verplaatsingen beperken

Maar wat zien de bloemetjes er goed uit bij de buren

Daar valt vast nog wel wat nectar uit te puren

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Drie kleine bijen gaan een ommetje maken

Maar van rustig wandelen is geen sprake

Iedereen is opeens samen op pad

Lekker colonnewandelen in de stad

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu zijn er nog

Twee kleine bijen moeten hun kindjes entertainen

Die houden hen van ’s ochtends tot ’s avonds in de benen

Halfdood doen ze mee aan Coronalol

Houden ze dit nog drie weken vol?

Piek! Eén valt ziek

Nu is er nog

Een klein bijtje voelt zich nogal eenzaam

Maar ondergaat het toch maar lijdzaam

Whatsapp en Skype houden ‘m overeind

Helemaal tot op het bittere eind

Vingers

Waarover schrijven

als je vingers jeuken

om te vangen, te boetseren

zonder reden?

Mijn vingers ijveren

om het over het verlangen

naar vroeger te hebben

tekeningen in de regendruppels

op de ruit te trekken

die spreken van gezellige keukentafels

onder gedempt licht

de warmte van een gezin,

toen en nu

ze willen de contouren trekken

van mijn dochters glimlach

de krullen van mijn man

en zich in dank plooien

dat ze mogen liefhebben

mijn vingers vangen tranen

op deze rare mooie dagen